Sunday, January 16, 2005

An Artful Rant - The french

"Of all the crosses I have to bear, the heaviest is the Cross of Lorraine" - Churchill on Charles De Gaulle.

Right, were do I begin with my incoherent anti-french ramblings???
SOOOO much ground to cover... will my attention span hold up? Lets find out...

1st of all, Iraq. Ok, now don't get me wrong, the fact that they disagreed to it doesn't bother me... lots of people did (like Jonny 'the Commie' Limb... but I don't hate him for it... Much...) It's HOW they disagreed to it that bothered me.
They didn't care about what America had to say. The yanks could have shoved a nuke with saddams signature on it, right up the French ambassadors arse, and they STILL would have said it was wrong... why? 'Cause they were making money of Saddam's evil. Oil for food scandal anyone?!?

2nd: They're such ungrateful bastards!! After De Gaulle led the french troops into Paris in 1944 (because the yanks let him) he told the french
"You liberated yourselves!"
I'm sure he just forgot to mention the roll the Brits, Yanks and Cannuks had in it... easy mistake to make no doubt... oh, and I'm sure it was all a mix up when he blocked Britain's entry into the European Common Market in the 50's? And the fact that french history textbooks fail to mention D-Day is but a slight oversight on the part of the writers??

3rd: THEY'RE LOSERS!!! If it's true that no one likes a loser, how could anyone like france?!? Working from memory alone, I can think of, in the past 200 years, 8 wars they've lost, 5 times they've been invaded, had Paris threatened 4 times, had it taken 3 times and been conquered twice!!
(if anyone can tell me where they get their ego from, I'd love to know! Really, it would be great to find out...)
When the famous De Gaulle pulled them out of NATO's military structure, the rest of Europe probably breathed a sigh a relief...
"Thank goodness", they thought, "We can actually beat the Soviets now!"

4th: Europe... france doesn't want a united, federal Europe... france wants to finish what Napoleon started... they want to control the continent. You can see it through their actions... telling Poland to effectively "Shut up, and learn your place!" when they voiced support for America.
They're now heavily in debt, and by European law, should be taken to court. Will they be? Not in FRANCE'S EUROPE!!!
They wanted the 2nd language of European nations to be french... when they chose English instead, the french demanded there be a THIRD official language... (would have been hilarious if Europe chose German for that)
They even demanded that the 1st President of Europe be french!! The others rebelled, and went for a Dutch guy if I'm not mistaken... might be wrong about that detail though...

So, just like Napoleon before them, france still can't quite control Europe... *losers*

Okay, that'll do for now.. I was going to go into Chirac, Le Pen and De Gaulle some more, but aw well, I'm beat... look out for a 'part 2' ;)

thank you, and goodnight.

(Notice that I didn't use a capital 'f' for 'france'... just to show how little reguard I have for them :))


At 24 March 2005 at 04:29, Anonymous Lawrence said...

a suggestion for france - would it not solve everyone a great deal of time if they got rid of the blue and the red in the tricolour? This would prevent numerous soldiers being overworked upon france being invaded by having to take down the tricolour and replace it with the plain white, as happened only last week when i went on a day trip to paris. I had a bit too much to drink and threw a punch at one of the gendarmerie. When I woke up I found they had ceded the country to me, complete with the island of kerguelen. Took me some time to convince them i didn't ant the place...


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