Wednesday, December 01, 2004

An Artfull Review - The Matrix Revolutions

Yes, I know it's been out for ages, but I don't care! Im reviewing it anyway dammit!!

Review : Matrix Revolutions
Cert : 15
Running time : *shrugs* I dunno... didn't time it in the cinima and i sure dont own it!


**Warning : Spoiler Alert!**
Right, this is my 1st review for this blog and I wanted to start it on a high note... but we don't always get what we want, do we?
This film stinks. No two ways about it... it stinks...
*BOOM, BANG, BOOM, RAT-AT-TAT-TAT, BOOM, BIG EXPLOSION, BANG* and so on... now that kind of thing doesn't make a good film, but it should at the very least make it watchable! M.R somehow managed to fill frame after frame with mindless violence, big guns and even BIGGER explosions, and make it boring!
That's right, the Matrix series once again broke the boundaries of cinima... I swear they re-used the same frame over & over & over... the person next to me fell asleep and i nearly did!
That was but one (LONG) scene, what else made it crap?
The acting was far from great... with Reaves giving his trademark wooden performence, Carrie Anne-Moss hardaly stood out (acting wise... the leather on the other hand... *phwar*) and the rest wern't brill either.
They sucked the coolness out of Agent Smith as well! He was awesome in the 1st... went down hill in the 2nd with the whole multiple Smith thing... by the 3rd... crickey, let the poor guy die already!
Neo V.S Smith... blimey, the Matrix series somehow went from 'Bruce Lee' to 'Superman' in just 3 films, not bad going there... i swear, slap some spandex onto 'em and that's what you got! Can't Hollywood leave C.G.I combat to Playstation??? Why should I be impressed at a bunch a pixles punching eachother and flying thousands of feet into the air?
they tried the same thing in Blade 2.. didn't work for that fild either.
And now we come to the ending... and WHAT an ending it was... the whole Matrix series is spent hyping up this great war between men and machienes... we have our hero, saviour and destroyer of the Matrix in Neo... the stage is set, the army's prepare to face off, aaannnddd... "lets make peace"... say what now??? peace?!? sooo.... what happens to us poor souls still locked in the Matrix??? OH, so you abandon us..? ok...
THANKS A LOT YOU BASTARDS!!!
What an anticlimax THAT ending was... it amost makes watching the other films rather pointless.
*sigh* ok, im tired, i'll bullet point the rest...
  • Crap script
  • Lovey dovey moment when Trinity was dieing was SO lame that I nearly died! (dont get me wrong, got nothin' against lovey dovey stuff... but after 10 minutes of it you just wanted her to hurry up and snuff it already!)
  • Robot face thing was kinda gay...

Okay, im spent... i'll finish how I started, this film stinks.

Score : *


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